|there is still no place for someone like me to fill
||[Apr. 7th, 2008 | 02:51 pm]
|[||I'm listening to
|||||Peter Bjorn and John - The Chills||]|
I've been rather busy lately: sorry about never posting.
I feel mopey: there's too much I need to get done by the end of April, for one. Plus it keeps raining, though I suppose that's a good thing due to our drought.
I keep thinking that today, fourteen (gracious, I'm getting old) years ago, Kurt Cobain's body lay quietly in a house in Seattle. Now I don't mean to make this into come kind of oversentimentalized treatise on the subject, but it's still interesting to me. I keep getting the feeling that other people are having lives all around me and I haven't started mine yet, I'm still drowning in work. It's not even that the work is too hard to manage, it's just that the something else I should be doing is completely unrevealed to me: more importantly, I doubt it ever will be. But what are we supposed to do in the wake of such things being so far in our past? Someone once interviewed Frances Bean and she said she has no real idea why people would pay attention to her (outside of her parents being famous) because she hasn't done anything yet. And what have we done yet, after that? After that outrage about what had come before? It seems we merely decided to give it up, give up on the importance of that kind of intense feeling about... well, basically anything besides the minutiae of ourselves. Intensity has been played out, the idea of saving anyone from anything has been played out (as Kurt so proved)... What is left?
Unfortunately, I think the answer is the internet, where people can have all kinds of crazy ideas but refrain from ever making them public (the exceptions lately, I suppose, have been people like the Westboro Baptist Church... but like all groups with a dogma, they're hopefully quickly disregarded as nutjobs or, at minimum, too biased to enter the discussion). I'll give it credit for the kind of intertextuality that I find interesting, but it's people talking across each other through each other around each other- sometimes at each other- to a length that's completely unproductive. What have we done, then? More importantly, what is there to be done about the fact that we haven't done much? We're disillusioned of our own will to act. There are absolutely individual exceptions, but as a whole there's been no revolution (even that word is too charged for what I mean), no holistic change. And frankly, we're probably even bored with change, or at least the idea that things can be radically different for us. We're too used to the status quo, and yet we're also too used to lame attempts to change it.
I'd invoke Nietzsche, but I abhor his sexism (I cannot say if his thoughts were merely "in fashion" at the time as some critics say, but if they were, that tends to undermine his entire anti-system argument). He therefore cannot suit all of my needs in the "will" department. Part of the hilarity of all this is that he had his say on women and there is not much to be said in response this late. Feminists have bungled certain things that now only make any woman who stands up for herself look utterly ridiculous (and more importantly, make her look like she is some kind of angry, man-hating lesbian because she calls for equality). People (best of all, women!) are so over feminism that some have reverted back to not valuing themselves outside of the system in which we exist. Since no attempt at smashing it is likely to succeed and getting angry about it only succeeds in making you a laughing stock, can anything be done? The best illusion of all, I suppose, is that people claim we're (any minority, really) already equal or pandered to in this society when it still has a long way to come. See also: menarebetterthanwomen.com
So I just ask myself: what should I do? I don't even know where to start.